过节第一次带对象回家 这些小心机让你避免尴尬

过节带新男友或新女友回家介绍给家人认识，你的心情一定是既激动又忐忑。怎样才能在愉快舒适的气氛中度过这一重要时刻，让双方给彼此都留下好印象呢？情感专家苏珊·温特给你总结了7条“金科玉律”。

先征得家人的同意

Insider网站截图

If you're bringing a significant other home, you'll need to run it by your family and make sure they're on board.

如果你要把另一半带回家，你需要先知会家人，征得他们的同意。

"You need to have a preparatory conversation with your family," said Winter. "Tell them that you're seeing someone special and you'd like to integrate them into the holiday plans."

温特说：“你需要先和家人谈一谈，让他们做好心理准备。告诉他们，你恋爱了，并打算带恋人回家过节。”

提前把各位亲戚的特点和节日活动告知另一半

Insider网站截图

Every family has its quirks and kooky relatives that join in on holiday celebrations. Give your partner an idea of who will be there and the protocol for their behavior, and highlight relatives that you think they'd get along with.

每个家庭的节日庆祝活动都会有几个古怪的亲戚来参加。让你的伴侣知道哪些亲戚会来，他们的言行举止大概是什么样子，并重点介绍几位你觉得能和伴侣合得来的亲戚。

"Give them a 'what's up' as to each person and tell them the conversations to avoid and the conversations they might want to enter," said Winter.

温特说：“给每个亲戚都做一个简介，告诉伴侣什么话应该说，什么话不应该说。”

kooky['k?ki]: adj. 乖僻的

提前做好过夜的安排

Insider网站截图

Even if you and your partner spend the night at each other's places all the time, your family's standards can be a different story, making sleeping arrangements a potentially fraught topic. Winter recommends treading carefully.

即使你和伴侣经常在对方的住所里过夜，但是在父母家里过夜则是另一回事，可能会带来一些烦恼。温特建议对这件事要小心斟酌。

"This depends on how close you are to your parents and how open-minded they are," she said. "You don't have to stay with the family. You can stay in a hotel. You're adults. If you do stay in the home, you know your parents well enough — know the ground rules and don't push it."

“这取决于你和你父母的关系有多亲近，以及他们有多开明。”她说，“你不必非得在家里过夜。你们可以住酒店。你们是成年人了。如果你真的在家过夜，你应该很了解你的父母——知道他们的底线，并且不要逾越。”

fraught[fr?t]: adj. 担心的，忧虑的

把伴侣不吃的东西告诉掌勺的人

Insider网站截图

The holidays center around food, so make sure your partner doesn't go hungry. If they keep kosher, have allergies, are vegetarian or vegan, or have other dietary restrictions, whoever is cooking needs to know that in advance.

节日聚会都是围绕着吃展开的，所以要确保你的伴侣不会饿肚子。如果他们吃洁食，对某些食物过敏，是素食者，或有其他饮食禁忌，都要提前告诉做饭的人。

Winter also suggests bringing food with you that you know your partner can have to make it easier on everyone.

温特还建议你带一些伴侣能吃的食物回家，这样大家都比较省事。

kosher['ko??]: adj. 符合犹太教教规的，干净的

选择好要参加的家庭活动

Insider网站截图

You probably have a good idea of what the holidays with your family are like. Set yourself and your partner up for success by choosing the parts of the celebrations that will be the least intimidating and the most enjoyable.

你很可能对自家的节日活动了如指掌。选择最没有挑战性、最有趣的庆祝活动，让你和伴侣可以成功搞定。

If baking holiday cookies or decorating the tree before Christmas are fun family affairs, include them.

如果烤节日饼干或装饰圣诞树是最有趣的，那么就参加这些家庭活动。

谈话时避开有争议性的话题

Insider网站截图

You want your family to get to know your partner and vice versa. But if your partner's political views differ from your family's, now is not the time to hash it out.

你想让家人和另一半互相了解。但如果伴侣的政治观点和你的家人相左，这可不是争个是非黑白的时候。

"You're meeting parents and family for the first time, you want to give a good impression," said Winter. "Now is not the time to air your political views, especially if they'll be in opposition to this family. No good can come of it."

温特说：“这是第一次见对方的父母家人，你肯定想留下好印象。现在不是发表政治观点的时候，尤其在你的政治观点和这家人相反的情况下。不会有什么好结果。”

hash out: 消除，经过长时间讨论解决一个问题

给自己和伴侣留点独处时间

Photo by Matthew Fassnacht on Unsplash

Meeting a partner's family can be overwhelming. Introducing your partner to your family can be stressful. And spending lots of time around relatives during the holidays can be a lot to handle regardless.

见伴侣的家人可能会让你抓狂。将伴侣介绍给家人也可能让你压力重重。此外，节日期间和亲戚们一起待那么长时间应该也不容易应对。

Winter recommends factoring in some time and space to breathe during your visit, even if it's just a walk around the block or a coffee run.

温特建议，在拜访家人期间，给自己和伴侣留出一些独处时间，即使只是在街区散散步或出去买咖啡也是好的。

She said: "Keep in mind that your partner is having a new experience. Have your partner keep in mind that you're having a new experience. Just because it's the holidays, you don't have to spend the entirety of the time with your family."

她说：“要记住，这对你的伴侣来说是第一次。你的伴侣也要明白，这对你来说也是第一次。虽说是过节，你们也不用时时刻刻都和家人待在一起。”

factor in: 将……纳入；包括，把……计算在内

英文来源：Insider

编译：丹妮